Time is ticking
Last night was the first time since I started planning this trip that I got a little freaked out. I think this was somehow related to the night before when I’d had a dream that I’d landed in India (which conveniently looked exactly like Whitley Bay, ha!), my airport transfer refused to take me away from the airport and everything was going wrong. And also the fact that I looked at my calendar last night and realised I leave in just over 3 months. 3 months? Argh.
3 months to save as much money as I physically can; 3 months to get all my visas, sort all my vaccinations, get my travel insurance; 3 months to research all the places I want to go to, look for places to stay, have a rough idea of what I want to do when I get there.
I used to be a big worrier - I used to lie in bed late at night, worrying about all the things on my mind and not sleeping. I seem to have forced myself out of that habit in recent years and I generally don’t get worried about things just by not thinking about them. I’m not a planner and I’ve found this has worked to my advantage when it comes to travel as the more I research, the more excited I get but also start thinking about al the things that could go wrong.
And then last night, late at night, I didn’t sleep - I lay in bed thinking: “What if I get lost and don’t meet up with my intrepid group in India?”, “What if my backpack doesn’t arrive in the airport?”, “What if I don’t meet anyone I like?”, “What if I get homesick and lonely?”, “What if I hate it and just want to come home?”, “What if I can’t find a job in New Zealand?”, “What if I run out of money?” and so on and so on - you get the picture.
I’m taking it to mean that I’m either doing too much planning or not enough. I’m leaning towards the latter as everyone keeps saying “Oooh, so have you got everything organised now then?”. And on that note, I’m off to apply for my Indian visa.
July 17th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Suffering from “what if” syndrome. It happens alot for big events like the one you are undertaking. There’s an infinite number of what ifs so instead of thinking they are going to happen just accept that some will happen and deal with them at that time. You can’t plan for every eventuality. As long as you have planned the things you need to get from A to B the rest will fall in to place.
Gib is suffering from the same thing. It’s essentially her first time out of the country so I understand. Maybe it’s a girl thing, the subjective rather than the objective. Remember the world is so small these days, communication is not an issue and help is only a phone call away.
I am so glad you are taking the initiative to pack up shop, say “fuck the system” and do your own thing. I’ve been waiting for at least one of my friends there to do it. I’m proud of you. I have people to support you if needed in Islamabad, all over Thailand, parts of Aus, Philipines, Singapore, Indonesia, Malaysia, Cambodia and New Zealand.
July 17th, 2008 at 9:59 am
I’m sure it will pass, I’m just having the odd freakout at the moment. I’ll be happier when I get my passport back from the Indian High Commission! Decided I’m going to employ my brother’s girlfriend as my PA to keep me organised :p I’m more excited about it than worried 99% of the time but i can’t help stopping and thinking “what the hell am I doing??!” every now and again!
I’m glad I’m leaving too and thanks for the offer of contacts
it’s amazing how many people know someone living in New Zealand! I may well take you up on the offer at some point.
Tell Gib we’re all dying to meet her! Do you know when you’re coming back yet?